My Broken Heart

I generally avoid political topics, but this is breaking my heart so I have to share it.

In the aftermath of the shootings in Orlando, the debate is raging again between Second Amendment Rights and Gun Safety. As I write this, there is an old-fashion sit-in happening in the well of the House of Representatives. They are planning on staying there until they get a vote on some gun legislation before they go on summer break this Friday. They are using the hashtag #NoBillNoBreak

Then I saw this photo on my Facebook feed posted by a mother:

This little girl is only three, and she is practicing for a mass shooter drill! What are we coming to as a nation when this is what passes as “normal” for a pre-school child? (Mom’s story)

As I look at this picture, read the newspaper, watch the news, and observe my neighbors, I get a sense what we need isn’t a change in the gun laws what we need is a change of heart.

It has become acceptable to respond in an aggressive way when we have had our feelings, feel cheated, feel disrespected, or have been treated unjustly.

Here are a few examples:

One of my students shoved another student in my classroom. When asked why he responded, “He dissed me.” He had felt disrespected when the student he pushed had asked him to move to take a seat at the table, the second boy hadn’t intended to offend. All of the boys agreed that if someone is disrespectful to you or offends you, by all rights you can shove, trip or hit.

At a local grocery store this month, a man intentionally crashed his pick-up truck into the front doors of the market. His reason? He had been escorted off the property an hour earlier and told not to come back because he had been shoplifting. The store manager could have called the police, but decided not to as the man was young, so he gave him a break.

A woman was shot on the freeway recently because she changed lanes in front of a man who felt she had cut him off. Maybe she did, but did she deserve to be shot?

There a many television shows where the violent response is used to solve problems.

Then there is the lack of common civility. I rarely have someone return a smile or good morning. I seldom hear excuse me or thanks. Everyone seems closed and walled off from each other.

My students tell me they would rather tweet, Facebook, or text a friend. They don’t know how to have a conversation.

Somewhere between my childhood and middle-age, the world changed. There was a time when we used please and thank you, treated others with respect even when they didn’t treat us that way, and having a gun was more of a hobby than protection. We talked. We listened. We didn’t hit, stab, or shoot someone if they disagreed with us.

I don’t know what the answer is. All I know is too many people are dying due to violence in this country. We have gun laws, but are they uniformly enforced? Are they making a difference? Will more laws help? I haven’t a clue.

What I do know is we’ve grown cold hearts if we keep allowing this to continue it’s only going to get worse. I can’t change the world, but I can change my responses. As the Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” I can be respectful when others are not. I can give a smile to a stranger. I can be kind.

You had me at tea.

I wouldn’t consider myself “a foodie,” at least not in the true sense. I don’t take pictures of everything plate of food I consume. I don’t write about most of the places I’ve gone to eat. I do enjoy my food. I eat well. I have the womanly curves to prove it.

There is one food experience that I really enjoy, that is going to the local Farmer’s Market. It is sensory overload with all of the fresh produce. The colors are bright, the air is pungent, there is something good to taste at most of the booths.

I don’t get to visit my local Farmer’s Market as often as I would like. It is held every Thursday morning on the lower campus of Victor Valley Community College. The timing is such, that when school is in session, I am unable to attend. During the school year, I sent a friend with a shopping list, and he picks up my fruit and veggies. In the summer, I’m there as often as I can.

Bread from San Bernardino

Berries from Riverside

When I first enter the market area, the first thing is the booths of vendors selling non-food items. These can range from Tupperware and Avon products to clothing and home decorations. I just scoot on past those, I’m here for the yummy stuff.

Wandering deeper into the market, I could start smelling the fruit and herbs. I meandered through tasting samples and making purchases. Bread from a San Bernardino bakery. Kale, broccoli, and rosemary from a Fresno grower. Blueberries and loquats from a Riverside grower.

My shopping.

Then I found the tea vendor from Big Bear.

Tea, loose leaf tea, tea blended by Mr. Wright and his wife.

The proprietor of Mountain Witch Tea greeted me warmly. He opened bags and let me savor the sweet and spicy scents.

Mr. Wright then asked me what kinds of tea I enjoyed. When I told him my favorite was Earl Grey with a touch of lavender, he pulled out a bag of their Earl Grey Tea – black tea, rosemary, lavender, rose and bergamot oil. It smelled of citrus and flowers.

We chatted about history, the health benefits, and the variety of teas. I mentioned the smoked souchong tea I had tried in Boston. He often carried that tea, apparently it’s really popular in the mountain communities. He promised to bring some down next week for me. (Yippee!)

I picked up the Cherry Blossom Tea. With his permission, I opened it. Sweet and fruity, it reminded me tea at the Japanese Friendship Garden in Sand Diego. It contained black tea, rose petals, vanilla bean and cherry flavor.

With two black teas chosen, I turned to his green and herbal teas. I had lots of choices – I debated between the Moroccan Mint and the Angel Wing White Tea. I chose the white tea, this is a tea I was unfamiliar with and thought I should give it a try. “white tea” are tea leaves picked while still young and still unfolding.

My tea.

With my shopping bags full and my wallet empty, I schlepped back to the car and home. Of course, once back at the house, the job wasn’t done. I had vegetables to clean and store, the fruit to put in the bowl, and a pot of tea to brew.

Now as the temperature threatens to sneak over a hundred degrees, I might not get much else done today. That’s okay, it was a lovely morning, and I have tea in my cup.

Earl Grey in my colonial style tea cup from Boston.

Until next time, remember the door is always open, and the kettle is always